Psychic Wins State Lottery

New York, NY — For the first time, a psychic has won a state lottery. Marge Alfen won an estimated 24.1 million dollars when she correctly guessed the six numbers from 1 to 59 in the New York State Lottery Lotto game. Ms. Alfen claims that she did not use her psychic powers to discern the digits. Nevertheless, the event has touched off a serious controversy and an investigation by the Professional Psychics Ethics Council. Marti Isen, spokesman for the council, is concerned that a line may have been crossed.

Professional psychics are required to sign an ethics agreement in order to become certified members of the PPEC. One of the tenets of that agreement is that using psychic powers for direct monetary or other gain is expressly forbidden. Obviously, direct monetary gain is different from the indirect service-based traditional pursuits of fortune-telling, prognostication and paid appearances with the aim of helping others.”

It’s apparent that the psychic community takes their pledge seriously as it is almost unheard of for a psychic to win at any games of chance such as lotteries, horse races or casino gambling. The PPEC is very proud of the fact that, statistically, psychics perform no better than regular mortals in gambling or stock market investing.

A vast body of evidence clearly proclaims the high ethical standards of psychics”, Mr. Isen claims. “Recent data proves the unerring commitment to integrity of the PPEC and its members. Moreover, historical records demonstrate that even before the founding of the PPEC and formal ethics standards, psychics were apparently operating with de facto ethics that forbade them from using their powers inappropriately. Throughout history one sees that psychics are on par with, or even inferior to, non-psychics in business and gambling. Some have even died in mishaps and intrigues when foretelling their own future might have saved their lives.”

These facts serve to underscore the surprising win of Ms. Alfen. She has come under attack from the psychic community in general and the PPEC in particular. They accuse her of breaking the PPEC ethics agreement in principle and probably in practice. The normally soft-spoken Isen is emphatic and pointed in his criticism of the lottery winner.

She should have avoided even the appearance of evil and abstained from the games altogether. She must have known that winning would generate a cloud of controversy and impugn the good name of psychics everywhere. Apparently, her desire for wealth got the better of her.”

The PPEC is considering legal action against Ms Alfen. Other groups too are considering legal action including the New York State Lottery Commission. The commission argues that the use of unfair gaming practices is forbidden in the agreement on the back of every lottery ticket. They assert that if Ms. Alfen used her psychic powers it would probably constitute a breach of the lottery contract. PPEC clairvoyants are attempting to look into the outcome of any legal action. One can only hope that their vision is not clouded by the millions of dollars swirling around the case.

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