Awareness Reaches an All Time High

New York, NY — According to several recent comprehensive surveys, global awareness has reached an all time high. The findings have gratified the more than eight million awareness organizations, committees and ad-hoc groups around the world. Seymour Lumière, spokesman for the International Union of Awareness Awareness, spoke from the IUAA offices in New York City.

We are delighted, but not entirely surprised by these recent surveys. We knew from our own internal polling that awareness was increasing,” said Lumière. “In addition, our member organizations have been reporting increasing awareness for some time now. These recent surveys are different, however, because of their comprehensiveness. No awareness surveys prior to these had been conducted on such a grand scale.”

Although the people at the IUAA may not be overly surprised by the results, others have been taken aback. For once, politicians, media watchdogs and the public are praising the global media outlets. Awareness campaigns in print, video and audio as well as word-of-mouth have clearly had a stunning impact. Most notably, the overall awareness rate for the entire world is an amazing 91.2 percent. There is very little difference between industrialized and emerging nations. In some cases, the people of third-world nations are actually more aware than their counterparts in Europe and North America.

Despite the overall extremely positive results of the survey, Lumière and the IUAA still have serious concerns. For starters, they point out that according to biological psychology, awareness involves perception or consciousness but not necessarily understanding. However, they have more immediate concerns.

We must redouble our efforts to reach the nearly ten percent that are unaware. The high awareness numbers only serve to underscore the difficulties in reaching the unaware. If awareness has spread so widely and yet some remain unaware then clearly there are some deep barriers to overcoming their unawareness. We feel strongly that the world needs more awareness of the unaware. The unaware are overlooked and forgotten. They either lack access to the normal channels of awareness or they have been conditioned by a lifetime of unawareness to be suspicious of awareness campaigns.”

The new unawareness awareness campaign is set to kick off later this year. The goal of the IUAA and its constituents is nothing less than one hundred percent awareness, what the IUAA calls Total Global Awareness. Mr. Lumière explained, “Once we achieve Total Global Awareness we can begin understanding. Once we have World-Wide Understanding we can begin to think and once we can think we can truly claim to exist; attaining the fulfillment of Descartes’ famous assertion!”

When I pointed out to Mr. Lumière that I wasn’t aware that I didn’t understand how to think about existence, the normally effusive spokesman became reticent. When pressed, he finally conceded, “I’m afraid I must confess that the results of the surveys may be somewhat misleading. You see, although people are more aware than ever, there seems to be an inexplicable concurrent rise in ignorance. We’ve been trying to combat this problem for some time but we simply don’t know enough about ignorance.”

With the help of the IUAA and its many affiliates, it is possible that we will soon witness the day of Descartes’ dreams. However, it may be that when we are finally able to think, we will be aware of everything and yet know nothing.

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