It is better to live among those paranoid about losing liberty, than among those complacent about keeping it.
Said the lightning to the frog
I like your polliwog
and when it grows up strong
it will perch up on a log
And watch my flashing bright
lighting up the night
so he can see the blood-
sucking look of fright
In the skeeter’s eyes
as he slowly flies
to escape the dread long tongue
of your egg-born young
Join us as we explore a different path of common sense, uncommon perspectives, humor and diversion.
Part of life is finding the right balance between thinking and not thinking.
San Jose, California — Camera maker Cazion Electronics has developed a new system that offers a true optical zoom capability without the expensive optics. The new system dubbed Electronic Physical Zoom (EPZ) is being offered in the latest Cazion cameras such as the CZ290A. The new zoom works by reincorporating a previously important photographic resource: the photographer’s mobility. Continue reading Camera Maker Develops Electronic Physical Zoom
Atlanta, Georgia, USA — Following on the heals of many studies debunking the supposed health benefits of a number of foods, activities, vitamins and medications, a recently-completed comprehensive twenty-year study has concluded that nothing has any benefit for our health. The study, published in the Journal of Understanding New Knowledge has been met with a mixture of passive acceptance and incredulity. Continue reading Study Reveals Nothing Does Any Good
New York, NY — For the first time, a psychic has won a state lottery. Marge Alfen won an estimated 24.1 million dollars when she correctly guessed the six numbers from 1 to 59 in the New York State Lottery Lotto game. Ms. Alfen claims that she did not use her psychic powers to discern the digits. Nevertheless, the event has touched off a serious controversy and an investigation by the Professional Psychics Ethics Council. Marti Isen, spokesman for the council, is concerned that a line may have been crossed. Continue reading Psychic Wins State Lottery
Mount Thunder Brook Reserve, Montana — After a long incubation in congressional committees and after a number of political maneuvers and proverbial back-room deals the Unspotted Owl Protection Act finally passed into law late last year. Now, some of the funds earmarked for the act are being used in an effort to locate and study some of the elusive birds.
So far, no one has actually spotted an unspotted owl, but proponents of the project claim that the funds are needed to continue the hunt for the bird which is thought to be endangered. The lead researcher in the hunt for the unspotted owl is Lee Birdseye, ornithologist from Montana State University. “Obviously the unspotted owl must be on the verge of extinction if none have ever been spotted,” Birdseye said. Continue reading Spotting the Unspotted Owl
Geneva, Switzerland — The International Anatomical Union convention has declared that according to their new definition, the pinky, or ear finger, does not qualify as a true finger. Previously there was no formal definition of a finger. This had led to concerns that scientists would be forced to recognize many new fingers as advances in anatomical reasoning and theory point out previously unclassified appendages. Kyle Montague, a delegate at the convention, explained the issue that prompted the move. Continue reading Scientists Say Pinky is not a Finger
Washington DC — No more nonsense. No more deception. Those are the watchwords coming out of Washington. Is there talk of Congressional reform? No, it’s spam that they are targeting, not the potted meat, but the electronic variety. The Feds want to encourage spammers to improve their ways. Among other things, this includes eliminating spam filter avoidance techniques such as gibberish text. Continue reading Feds Try to Improve Spam
New York, NY — According to several recent comprehensive surveys, global awareness has reached an all time high. The findings have gratified the more than eight million awareness organizations, committees and ad-hoc groups around the world. Seymour Lumière, spokesman for the International Union of Awareness Awareness, spoke from the IUAA offices in New York City. Continue reading Awareness Reaches an All Time High